Thursday, January 26, 2017

Terrible anniversaries

I wanted a better title to this post, but this seemed the most fitting. I don't know what else you'd call the anniversary of losing a loved one.

Grandma Sally and Grandpa Jim

January 6th this year marked three years since my grandpa James Lee "Jim" Crawford passed away. The last few years of his life, he'd had a number of close calls, and I honestly thought that there would be more before he actually passed away. But the last one hit, and he was gone before we got a chance to go over and say goodbye.

Grandma Blossom in 2012

Today marks four years since my paternal grandmother, Rosemary Blossom (Wagner) (Nelson) Gibson went to heaven. I find myself unable to believe it's been that long, yet it feels like forever since I heard her inimitable laugh, or the way she exclaimed "well forever more!" at something she couldn't believe. She passed away a year and two months before my second son was born, so she never got to meet him.

Levi in early December 2016
Monday marked one month since my little Levi joined Grandpa Jim and Grandma Blossom in heaven. I cannot believe it has only been one month - it has felt like years, many years. Not a day has gone by that I don't spend time looking at a picture of him (I have a picture of our family at the church Christmas party on my wall at work, taken one week before he passed away). I make sure to show pictures of him to my 2 year old, and talk about him, and mention him in our prayers. I don't want his memory to fade or be forgotten. He is and always will be a part of our family. He's just moved to the next stage of life earlier than the rest of us. I'm at peace with that - I know where he is and how he is doing. I just miss him so, so much.
As time goes on, I know there will be more of these terrible anniversaries to remember. But with each parting, my family in heaven grows. And especially since Levi's passing, I find myself not being so anxious or unsure of my own eventual crossing of that gateway. Instead, I have a growing number of sweet reunions to anticipate, in a place removed from all the difficulties and problems of this world. So while I will work and fight to stay in the here and now, I have so much to look forward to in the there and then. Not the least of which is some quality time with loved ones who I am dearly missing.

1 comment:

sequimitesal said...

Thank you for your comments on our loved are so right they are gone but not forgotten! I do not log on to your blog very often but now have it bookmarked so now will be following more closely.